People projecting your fetish on me.

With women on the internet, I think we all experience some level of unwanted sexual comments. They could range from something like a stranger posting a little too often how attractive you are (usually worded in crude ways) or can go right up to people getting really sexually explicit. It’s sort of a known accepted risk that if a woman posts her image anywhere online, that they are open to it, and many will argue that they are expecting it or asking for it. (don’t even get me started with that mentality) Before I even had a mermaid tail and I was just getting into modelling, photography, and stock photography making I would get very creepy comments, some that were out right unacceptable, and I’d ALWAYS run into people who would push their fetish on me.

If you’re in a fetish community, or in a community that has a fetish aspect- that’s one thing. But it really upsets me when people push their fetishes, just as it’s upsetting to have someone push religions or lifestyles at you. The ones I used to get (and still sometimes do) were about my feet. I’d get the most obnoxious comments that weren’t so much comments as they were demands for images of my feet doing different things. I’d get private messages and before I learned a lot about internet security I’d get emails too. The thing is, it wasn’t even like my feet were the focus of the images!

My main complaint with this, is that from my perspective it’s unsolicited. Often it’s quite aggressive.

In the mermaid world, I have experienced the following since first posting my images on the web, keeping a youtube, and starting a FB page:

   demands for breath holding videos. not polite, I’m talking, demands, with explicit instructions on how they should look etc and what I should do.
   emails, comments, messages, for “Hey there, how do you think mermaids have sex? Do you think a mermaid would give head underwater?” etc. or some variety of these types of comments. Often they can be extremely aggressive.
   obsession with mermaids being topless. You think mermaids if they were real would be topless? (the whole if mermaids were real they’d only be real if they fit what I think they should look like in my head argument makes me want to punch someone. They aren’t real. We’re allowed to have our own interpretations, I’m not going to bend to you because you think yours is correct) That’s great. Don’t leave me 50 comments about it, especially on my pictures of me with children. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO SEE ME TOPLESS ON FACEBOOK anyway, because it’s against their TOS. Like the way some people are obsessed with it is ridiculous and comments are often very inappropriate.
   Obsession with mermaid reproductive organs. Again, it’s one thing to start a forum thread on it, but quite another to PROJECT this on to an image with kids. Which yes, these things happen on a regular basis to me.
   I have been asked how my boyfriend and I have sex since I’m a mermaid, at least once a week since I started social networking. Sex wouldn’t be anyone’s business anyway, what makes a person think they’re entitled to ask since I perform as a mermaid?
   I have aggressively been told, not asked, told, to do mermaid butt shots. e.g. the tail doesn’t cover the butt.
   the “youre so sexy” comments that are fairly descriptive, and always put on content that is innocent and the majority of people would see it in juxtaposition and be creeped out.
   I’ve had outright solicitation, people contacting me because they have a mermaid fetish and want to have sex with the costume on (not even sure how that would work). Seriously, when you visit my website that is dedicated to kids parties- under what sky would that be an okay thing to send me?
   the guys who ask for mermaid girlfriends
   Mermaid AMA has barely made it to the scene, she’s my baby sister and 15, and I have already had to delete sexual comments from the photos I’ve posted of her and her youtube. Someone actually suggested on my youtube I make sexy videos of her, another suggested she was sleeping with my boyfriend (like omg ew, because he’s 20 years older than her and not a creep, thanks internet!), and on the one video of me showing me and her learning bubbles underwater I removed at least 10 comments of people DEMANDING (not commenting, not asking) for breathholding videos of the two of us. Some are so specific they want us in the tub in our tails!

I’m sure I’ll remember more. But when I say It takes me a long time to get through my comments and emails this is at least 25% of the reason why on any given day. I receive this stuff in one form or another on a weekly basis.

There are a few ways to deal with it, on youtube I put moderating comments on so comments don’t get posted til I approve them (it’s very time consuming to go through the comments so some times  I just turn them off). On Facebook I put common fetish terms under my “profanity filter” so the comments can’t even be posted. From time to time I have to turn PM’s off (like right now) and I am always deleting comments from FB that are fetishy- because my FB page is not a person’s podium or platform for exploring their sexuality. Recently some fans of mine went on about topless shots, and I know they weren’t trying to be disrespectful or creepy but I KNOW parents and their kids visit my FB page. So once the conversation was done and I made it very clear that I was not posting topless pics of myself I had to delete the whole thread. On deviantART I am a little lenient because the website does have a fetish community- but hello my mermaid images are not in those galleries. If someone takes a comment too far I block them and usually through their history I see they project on lots of people. Also, keep in mind that this DA page is separate from my mermaid persona. I know some people will say “but you have art nudes in your gallery tho”… and? so what? So I get to sit here and put up with harassing comments?

The thing that frustrates me, is that I shouldn’t have to go through all this work to prevent receiving the comments. I should be able to just do my thing and not have to worry about it. The fact that I do shows there are some serious social boundaries that many people just do NOT see. It should be obvious to anyone that those things aren’t appropriate in certain settings, and yet people do it anyway. I understand on DA it might not be as obvious, but these people are posting shit on my FB page on photos of me with kids! Like, hello!!! I get annoyed with the “if you don’t want comments don’t post pictures” argument, or that it’s just a known con when you’re a mermaid because mermaids in some perspectives are always viewed sexually.

I guess my bottom line is, don’t project your stuff onto other people. If they show interest in it that’s one thing, but you don’t go to a stranger and project your sexual urges on them. A perfect example of what I deal with on a regular basis just happened earlier today on my stock account: [link]

I am comfortable with sexuality, I’m a nude model after all. but I wouldn’t let people say these sorts of things to me on my NUDE photos. Why would I let them say it on my mer-photos?

I want to clarify too, I’m in no way trying to attack fetishes or even people within the mer-fetish. What I’m attacking is the non-consensual projection of a sexual fetish extremely aggressively on me, usually demanding/bossy

More I’ve had to deal with:

no, I don’t want to be your girlfriend. Your 5 years younger than my father and my sister in the video is underaged.

  1. imjustateenagemermaidbaby said: I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this :( It seems that a lot of hobbies that people have these days can be made into a fetish. Being a girl who likes to dress in lolita fashion and a mermaid as well, I totally understand where you’re coming from.
  2. shehulkismyfitspo said: I’m so sorry to hear that people treat you that way, it isn’t right :( Don’t let the buggers get you down.
  3. rainamermaid posted this
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